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Come on, let's leave our misery, and crawl toward where we want to be - Ramblings [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
John the shady indie denier

[ website | iL Online ]
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[ archive | journal archive ]

Come on, let's leave our misery, and crawl toward where we want to be [Mar. 29th, 2007|11:55 pm]
John the shady indie denier
[Current Location |SY23 1HE]
[mood |hopefulhopeful]
[music |Night Falls On Hoboken - Yo La Tengo]

Well kids, gosh.

Back in July 2004 (surely the halcyon days of livejournaling), I wrote "The ability to make firm decisions and stick to them seems to be something that I quite severely lack though, and let's be honest about this - It's making my life a whole lot more interesting". Its a quote which means a lot to me, because that summer of 2004 is repeating itself in many ways - positive ways.

Aberystwyth is a lovely little town. Beautiful and safe it may be, but it is isolated. Too isolated. A year or two ago, there were plenty of reasons for staying here, and they have slowly but surely floated away. Lampeter is just a little too far away to be a realistic 'pop and visit' location, and people are filtering away from the place in any case. A little while ago I found myself drift back into single-dom, and Aberystwyth is not the place to be alone. Actually, ironically, I almost drifted immediately back out of single-dom again, and therein lies a tale (ho hum) for another day. We shall see what happens in that regard. I think - and I may be fooling myself here - that I'm pretty laid back; less manic about the whole idea these days. Boredom and monotony have an awful way of amplifying nascent emotions, however, and I'm not holding my breath.

Boredom and monotony, you say? Well hrm... The job at Cambrian Printers has become rather 'comfortable'. After six months, it became fairly well paid (all things considered), and things seem to be plodding along fine and well in that regard. Plodding is the operative word, however. The job won't change, and subsequently nor will I. That is never a situation in which I would have been comfortable to find myself, despite occasional aspirations towards 'being settled' in the past, and it is not a situation I am comfortable with now. As such, the prospect of 'change' has not been far from my thoughts.

Earlier this month I had an interview in Manchester for the Co-operative Group graduate scheme (which, I was assured, put me in the top 4% of applicants - incredulity welcomed on that score). Unfortunately, "while the interviewers were impressed with your performance at interview, it was felt that other candidates matched our requirements more closely". Shit. Still, I got to see Uday again; get out of Aber for the day. Who can complain (bastards...)

So, what to do... Well, the lease on this charming flat expires at the end of May. My love affair with Wales has already long expired. So its time for another move.

The plan at the moment is to move all my stuff back to my parents' and drift around for a bit, perhaps see some of Europe. Spend all my money and start again from zero. Then, who knows. There are a few ideas rattling around inside my head. I might just temp for a while whilst I re-insert myself into social and city life. I'm too young to be in a retirement town, and I've had too many interests in the past to let them die quite as spectacularly as I have done in recent times.

The Open University course continues to progress. I am merely one 3 hour exam away from being 1/6th of the way through the degree (ho hum), but time management continues to be the bane of my existence. As long as I don't mess up too severely with the assessments, it is a welcome distraction in any case. Being a 'real student' is still something I wish I had taken better advantage of at the time, although I'm not unhappy at any decisions I made.

Aaand... that brings us up to date.

Incidentally, despite the somewhat melodramatic subject to this journal entry, I think Night Falls on Hoboken is a song about hope. Anyone with me?
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: pere_duchene
2007-03-30 06:12 am (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear about your interview John - but you did well to get as far as you did and from the tone of your writing maybe a full-time job as of yet is not for you?

Travelling may be an idea, i've heard alot of people get alot out of it, but remember you'll always have a home in the Midlands x
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